tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post1128395282169641872..comments2023-07-14T06:20:27.052-07:00Comments on Taking Back Our Brave New World: Idols and Ideals in LoveEllen RM Turnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11778933118130435874noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post-50969453097393080232012-08-23T07:33:50.250-07:002012-08-23T07:33:50.250-07:00Yes, I do think that is a possibility, but perhaps...Yes, I do think that is a possibility, but perhaps not the happiest possibility. What I mean is, good as a parent-child relationship is, it wouldn't work so well between spouses.Ellen RM Turnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11778933118130435874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post-45186889970143142002012-08-22T22:50:44.855-07:002012-08-22T22:50:44.855-07:00Well, there is always the possibility that you try...Well, there is always the possibility that you try to change them because you wnat them to be better than you are. Isn't that the way we love our children?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post-54625864079728760962012-08-21T05:10:56.407-07:002012-08-21T05:10:56.407-07:00Helen Andelin talks about this in Fascinating Woma...Helen Andelin talks about this in Fascinating Womanhood too, about not trying to change the person you love and not assuming you're a better person than they are which afterall is what it means to be trying to change them. Also about the fact that clinging to, focusing on, admiring, praising the good qualities helps them have the courage, confidence and faith to reach their full potential and to combat their faults. <br /><br />I think Alice von Hildebrand talks about the Tabor Vision in By Love Refined. (please see my Trivium Senior Thesis. ;))Anne R Triolohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12301057276347412376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post-76093434561697882812012-08-15T11:07:59.946-07:002012-08-15T11:07:59.946-07:00Where does von Hildebrand write about that? I'...Where does von Hildebrand write about that? I'd like to read it. And what a beautiful image of the sun and the clouds. You put it much more clearly and much more elegantly than I did -- I agree with you entirely, by the way. I guess I was trying to get at this idea when I wrote, "Love sees the actuality and the potential, and is not solely focused on either one." But, you've spelled it out much better.<br /><br />Really, am I less than perfect?? Honestly, some people...Ellen RM Turnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11778933118130435874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6882015497769441762.post-68500655888664798002012-08-14T23:07:34.248-07:002012-08-14T23:07:34.248-07:00Wow, that's a lot to take in.
It seems to m...Wow, that's a lot to take in. <br /><br />It seems to me that it is important to understand that the "fix" in The Ideal Husband came about by the wife realizing she herself was not perfect. Always good to recall when trying to love the less than perfect that you are also less than perfect. <br /><br />And another thing, you can't go into it with the idea in mind that you will change the one you love. You have to love a person despite all the imperfections, and because you have what Alice von Hildebrand speaks of as the "Taber Vision" of the beloved. You see that person in a way that no one else does, you see the possibility of perfection, of glory, even glimmers of it in the here and now. A good image of it is one of those partly cloudy days when a shaft of sunlight appears through the clouds. Maybe you are the only one who sees that light in the beloved, but you know it is there. Still you can't push the clouds away so that he is only light. In the best of relationships, and with a lot of input from God and the angels and the communion of saints, you move in the direction of mostly sunny, but you can't set out to do that for someone or worse yet to someone. It just happens that you "bring out the best" in one another, and perhaps most of all when you realize that despite all your faults that person loves you, too, just like you do him. And when I say, "It just happens," I do mean that it happens when you are doing the work to love one another well. To love one another, not to change each other. This movement toward perfection is the fruit of real love. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com